Just keep Smiling
Rewind back about 13 years...
When I was in my late teens I suffered from depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I was prescribed tons of different anti-depressants and I received outpatient, as well as, inpatient treatment. When I was 19, I reached a point where I did not need medications or therapy. I was finally able to cope and eventually I didn't need to just cope anymore because I was genuinely happy.
Now Fast-Forward to approximately 6 months ago...
As I think back to when the ER doctor first said the words Multiple Sclerosis, I remember a moment of panic before an overwhelming peace took over. Before the tests were even done I knew that I had MS and I knew I was going to be okay, Gods got me!
Fast-Forward to about 4 months ago...
I started getting angry, cried all the time, and I felt cheated because I couldn't do the things I was able to do the year before and my own body was attacking me. I knew I wasn't me and I didn't like it. And I needed help, but I was scared because I did not want to be on anymore anti-depressants. During my next visit to my Neurologists office I reached out to the Nurse Practitioner, only to be told I had Pseudobulbar Affect and prescribed an outrageously priced medication called Nuedexta. I was mad and felt dismissed, I knew I was depressed (kind of been there, done that) and I reached out for help to receive none. At first, I just wanted to give up but I knew I couldn't, so I made an appointment with a Primary Care Provider that I felt comfortable with. I almost made it through the appointment without telling her about my depression but once I did, I was relieved. I was prescribed a low dose of Paxil.
Fast-Forwarding to Now...
I am doing fine. If I get a little blue or have anxiety, it's very mild. I am feeling emotionally better than I have been, MS sucks but its something that I am learning to cope with.
If you are suffering from depression, please reach out to someone (a friend, loved one, or a doctor, etc.). You are not alone and there are people who can help.